Squishpuff

"If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave." - Mo Willems

tsunamiwavesurfing:

i seen someone on here say “daddy spank me like an almost empty ketchup bottle” and since then i just been usin a knife to get the sauce out the bottle

(via ernbarassing)

officialdaddyegbert:

davvvd:

-annoying:

the “i’m not afraid to verbally assault a middle schooler if they look at my kid the wrong way” haircut

image

I thought this was the “I would like to speak with a manager” haircut

it’s both.

(via kanyewesticle)

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

image

image

cracks me up every time

(via tittytittygangbang)